300 Days To Change My-self & Be The Version I Want To Be

[1] 9:45 AM, woke up. Brushed teeth, dressed up for classes. But there were no classes today. I had another task though i.e. to printout Application for Bus fee deduction for total semester 5 fee as I'm hostel and don't use bus facility. I got printout of application letter and hostel fee receipt and thought to get it signed by hostel caretaker but office was closed, so I went to department office with just that. In department office, sir said, sign yourself in each page and get the application signed by caretaker or wardon (although I have done it in previous semester too it was little hard to me what exact doc to attach). 12:40 PM waited in a bench outside hostel for office open as well as for tiffin (as it was my turn). 1:02 AM caretaker came in office and signed my application, I went on submitting it to department office. After submission plus 10 mins tiffin came. Ate the lunch, and after that went on writing this blog today (+ past two days). Gonna post them. And feeling ...

10:30 PM (yesterday). So I ended up eating way less than expected at Manohar . Still, the main task meeting P2 was completed. I was being nervous that what would I say when P2 asks me what am I doing in career? But he did't asked me anything like that or maybe he already has all the answers through the resume that I gave him when he asked it for an internship opportunity or maybe it's not as much of his/anyone's thing to care or think of. 11:15 PM we explored New Market to buy cover and shoes but both of us (P2 left after Manohar) did't get expected thing at expected price. 1:00 PM arrived hostel, ate tiffin (could have told uncle to cancle tonight's tiffin but AT thought to give it to someone and that someone went home), watched movie (with AT), played songs (solo). 5:30 AM sleep. 00:40 PM, woke up. Ate lunch (2:00 PM), was browsing computer when NT came in room for water (no water in both hostel Chandrashekhar & Bhaskaracharya). I had no water too so decided ...

Woke up at 11:00 AM. I have been left with 3 skill badges to reach ultimate milestone, so completed them first. Then ate lunch, played games and watched reels. 4:00 AM, AT called for the plan to go MP Nagar (to meet P2). Instantly, I took bath, freshen up and got ready for the meetup. Called P2 four times (at 4 different numbers), he did't pickup, later got to know 1 number is wrong. 5:00 PM AT called again to come near Bus Stand (campus), he planned to go by collage bus, bus 1245 was set to leave at 5:40 PM. 7:00 PM, arrived MP Nagar. Again tried contacting P2. Fortunately, he picked up this time and told him we've arrived, his reaction was "aree han!" and replied he'll be there soon. While P2 has not arrived, we explored Jyoti Complex to find an armor style cover for AT's iphone 14 pro max. The one AT liked was UAG but it's price was 800 and AT's budget was 600. Leaving Jyoti, we went on DB mall. Met P2 there. I purchased a liquid detergent (first ti...

11:30 AM woke up. And the one thing that was very clear to me was I have to earn skill badges in cloud arcade (for reaching ultimate milestone). So I started laptop but was very distracted like, sometimes I opened instagram, sometimes clash Royale, sometimes youtube, etc. I was being very lazy today. Lazily completed 11 skill badges. 3 more to earn to reach ultimate milestone (that I'll do in next day). It's 4:09 AM when I'm writing this. Now after uploading this blog I'm gonna sleep, but one thought/question has been bothering me a lot i.e. what's gonna happen tomorrow? It's very obvious that p² is gonna ask "Kya-kya kiya bhai, kuch phodu kar raha hai ki nahi?". and this question breaks me internally. And I know, I can't have everything. If I'm playing games, watching corn, not managing my time, where is the work for skill I wanna develop? It's very ironic nature of me, not doing what needs to be done still expecting rewards in imagination...

12:00 AM, Woke up. Started playing Clash Royale. 1:00 PM, Ate lunch. 2:00 PM, corn. ~ 3:30 PM, Clash Royale. 4:30 PM, ate second tiffin (AT was out for internship) then slept. Woke up, scrolling instagram. 8:00 PM, AT came in room with tiffins and asked to watch movie resident evil (2002). I downloaded it, wasted around 40 mins, then decided to freshen up, bath, and cleaned the room. Then, we ate dinner at AT's room. 12:00, started discussing about world geography and politics (he an has World Map wallposter). 1:00 AM, started movie. Movie felt averagies-good to watch with friends, graphics realism of 2002 were noticeable. After movie, we set up a new light in my room and used old tubelight to hang door curtens (more context on Day 011). Then we explored the peace & beauty of night on terrace, had some talks. It's 5:55 AM now, when I'm writing and just peaked outside, seeing the emerging blue sky (nice!). So, today (mainly the day part) was not productive. I have to fir...

[1] Today was my last exam, it went well but last question did't had length compared to others. 4:00 PM, free from assignment & submission. Laying in bed playing Clash royale for 2 hours, then some corn. It's 7:40 PM now when I'm writing this. Today's task: I'm thinking to clean my room, take bath and complete Google Cloud Badges as the date has extended to 13th. I can reach ultimate milestone but gotta do labs whole day. [2] I was with AT when p2 called asking for money (cause he invested his money and would get it by monday. Then he offered to meet at Monday's evening (he'll give treat at Manohar) & he said that himself but we (AT & me) also planned to have treat from p² because of so many reasons he did't gave us his birthday treat, iphone, recently he buyed M4 too. So AT, p² & me (first year roommates) planned to meet on Monday. I feel a little nervous too, the past two time I met him I told that I'm learning DSA, web-dev, but I h...

[0] 8:00 AM woke up, took bath, freshen-up. 9:30 AM started studying for exam but did't maintained focus. 10:55, now writing this, gave today's task. Exam is at 11:30 AM. So going to study. [1] First paper was good, but in second paper, I wrote so small (0.6 page) for a 7 marks question. In the afternoon, I was just playing clash royale. Ate dinner; nothing productive until now. AT came in room and started watching reel, I also started playing clash royale. After AT is gone, there comes call from p² about filling and payment of his GATE application form and he's giving CS and DS both (I'm just giving DS). You see, p² was my roommate in first year, at that time he is smart, had linkedin connections at IIT's, was pursuing dual degree (one from here & another online IIIT degree), started his startup, grabbed internship at amazon. All that developed an inferior complexity inside me which affected me in many ways and now gate exam is like facing him directly. Now, it...

Woke up at 7:00 AM. Completed daily leetcode problem by AI (more context in Day 020). Checked where and when my exam is. It was at 11:30 AM, another at 2:30 PM. First exam was of Soft computing and ma'am told us to study from assignment I had not made assignment so decided to write it and study from it simultaneously. My destructive mind, I think I should say me, my mind should be in my control. By refering mind separately I'm trying to say it's not me, it's my mind. So, wrote two pages and started playing clash royale. 10:30 AM, got serious wrote one more page and studied other questions verbly. Reached the exam center (old Mechanical) in 7 mins. Finished exam, cameback, ate lunch, gave second exam. Attended all questions in soft computing but 2 questions were not prepared for compilar design (it was that same prove grammer type numerical I talked about few blogs back). 4:30 PM, laying in my bed playing clash royale, 2 hours went by then slept. 8:00 PM, AT knocked door...

1:00 PM, woke up, ate lunch and then just laying in my bed, watching reels. 3:00 AM got call from AB (SIH Team leader) asking me to make ppt cause he needs to study for tomorrow's exam. Ah, I also need to study but he told he also need to make the assignment that I have already made and I was watching reels so I accepted, procrastinated up 4:10 PM (he told me to get it done by 5:00 PM). 5:30, ppt made and sent. Electricity was out in hostel and my laptop's battery is also dead so decided to take bath. After bath ate the dinner at hostel's terrace with AT, I like to try different things and AT gives me company in many of them, I like it. Electricity was in the hostel when I came out of bathroom. Watched youtube, browsed computer (setup K lite codec), AT was also in the room so time ++. 00:20 AM, out of sudden I pressed shutdown and went to bed. 5 mins later realised I did't completed daily question of leetcode. Although, I don't solve it myself but I maintain the str...

1:00 PM, woke up. Missed calls from KT (10:00 AM) because of sleep. Ate lunch, brushed teeth, dressed up for collage and went straight to submit the assignment. Came back, browsed computer a little. 4:00 PM, slept again. 6:00 PM got call from AT, he asked me to cancle his ticket to home on 11/10/25 cause their is rumor that his exam will be between 13-15. The task was simple but, every time someone comes in my room especially AT it tooks up 20-30 mins minimum. I did't gave myself tasks today but it was clear to me to first complete all assignment. Started making assignment for Advanced Web technology. After completing assignment (maybe 0:00 - 1:00 AM) AT again came in my room, he needs to compress image to upload on a site that's not accepting size more than 1 mb. Work done in 15 mins but he stayed in room, started watching reels while covering my whole bed. I don't like he uses my pillow, I said once infront of NT and AT that I don't like anyone being freely resting in...

[1] Woke up at 1:00 AM, took the bath, cleaned room. Saw something and remembered nothing is free. Realized, I have mid-sem from 8 oct. So very first task complete all assignments. [2] It took me almost whole day to complete one assignment. I took breaks like tiffin/dinner, 3 hours instagram reels. I wrote 22 pages. The assignment was of Compiler Design. The theory is good, I understood when writing it but there were some questions for checking validity of grammer & similar but that went all over my head. We did't even had a single class of compilar design or maybe we had but I missed it (attended 3/5 days of collage) and have mid-semester exam in 2 days. Gotta study because this semester marks will get me into hostel next year. Also, lately I've been stressing/can I say feelin sad that a batchmate (RC) started 2 months ago learning Java + DSA but she posted daily on linkedin & now she's in good level whereas I with 368 days of leetcode streak knows way less. 5:00 A...

Woke up at 12:00 AM. Did nothing special. Ate lunch. The day and my mind were very uncontrollable. For the past few days, I've not been giving tasks to my-self (one day was valid but afterwards it was just me). Today too, without any tasks I forward to the day. Slept at afternoon. And in evening browsed the computer. I decided to have some basic apps, a game (Cyberpunk 2077), and for development prefered to go with WSL. I installed the game, after dinner AT was in my room too (he slows me down somehow and many times when he enters he asks if I'm free and answer to that question is very unclear to me). My set up: I installed basic apps like gemini CLI, revo uninstaller, NVIDIA app, Cloudflare WARP, Powershell 7, Chrome, Zen, etc in the sys. I also wanted to have a game in the sys. I was very confused between FH5, Cyberpunk 2077, RDR2. I thought a lot and eliminated FH5 because I installed it in past and now though that I'll play it with wheel-setup (in future). For RDR2 as I...

[1] I was sleeping, woke up cause NT came to room. After 15 mins, another door knock, a person with a letter and a list standing. He gave the letter to NT and NT to me. Written his father passed away, leaving a blind mother and daughter. He (person) is mute too. The list was of who have donated with values like 500, 200. A kind of pressure was developing inside me (maybe he was constantly signaling me like write name here in the list, that "write here" was pushing me to write something ultimately some value, some money). I asked NT to combinely donate. He refused by saying he did in first year. The no option was hidden in the mist of pressure. My heart was ready to give ₹10 (I usually say no cause I saw 3-4 examples of fake in past). But that unknown psychological pressure pushed me for ₹50. I was first in the list for value below 200. I overthinked a lot cause all I have now is my family's hand earned money. If I would have earned it, maybe I overthink less. [2] I think,...

1:20 PM, woke up. Ate the lunch. Last night, I planned and installed new 25H2 windows (linux is gone). In afternoon, I reviewed the installation. 5:00 PM, AT asked to go along with his friends to dusehra maidan (BHEL). I went their last year too. I searched and got to know, there are multiple places for Ravan dahen. Among them Banjari Dussehra Maidan host the biggest Ravan Dahan (I wanted to go their), but because AT specifically asked me cause he knows last time, I went BHEL ground so it'll be easier for his group to navigate. Their, During Dahan, I tried burning all my bad things along with Ravan. I made my own way; while inhaling I was chanting Ram, hold breath, while exhaling chanting Ravan (all in mind not physical appearance). Chanting Ram, Ravan I was recalling the positives I have/I want and vice versa. we got to eat prasad from 2-3 pandal on the way to Kamlapati. From there, took train to junction, outside junction AT ate a 70₹ thali for dinner and I got covered from Bhand...

I'm writing this two days after the actual day. So, started with waking up at 1:00 PM. And took the bath, washed cloths, cleaned the room. Was browsing my PC when AT asked me to come along with his friends for "Bhandara". I agreed. 4:30 PM, we were early, so passed time in one of AT's friend flat/room. The place is just next to our campus known as Patanjali. 7:00 PM, going for bhandara, when going down from stairs, I noticed a girl seeing me (her room was in the way), now I saw some female staring me. I did't care/thought much as there are n possibilities. After reaching ground AT's friend also told that they saw it. This is the thing that's out of my syllabus, so just mentioned the event. Ate the prasad/bhandara. Also, along with AT & his friend donated our time to serve others in the bhandara. Peaceful to see things like, little girls (Kanya) to strategize how much & what to eat, playfulness, less divisive mind. 10:00 PM, come back...